Seeking kindness in me, kindness for me, kindness for us

I find myself seeking out kindness these days. Kindness in myself for myself. I feel it’s short, hard to find, off on a long weekend perhaps (that last bit is wishful thinking for where I wish to be right this very minute).

It’s a reminder to be gentle with my tired self. To practice patience with a new mom brain. To smile when I feel down. To laugh when I want to cry. To embrace a tiny, barfy little baby when the thing I loathe most in this world is barf (though yogurt and strawberry baby barf doesn’t smell nearly as bad as some other barf). To take a minute to just sit…and be…at the end of the day, after the boy is asleep, before my own eyes beg for slumber.

To find joy in a latte, savor a brownie from a  bakery (I LOVE bakeries and have a whole lot to say about the crime that is demonizing decadent, real ingredient, truly delicious baked goods). Sit by a fire. Snuggle a baby. Tickle a baby. Listen to tiny, wee man laughter and feel it in my soul. I’m not sure there is anything kinder to one’s soul than the sound of baby laughter.

My journey to find kindness begins within. Small reminders to not be so hard on myself. To cut myself some slack. To realize that I am, in fact, my own worst critic. To loosen up, live a little, find joy in the monotony of a daily routine. To break free from that routine from time to time. To be spontaneous, or as spontaneous as the little man allows.   To live each day for what it is, sometimes crappy, sometimes joyous, sometimes a little bit of both.  But whatever the day holds, to be kind to myself. That is my goal for 2014: to find the kindness within me, for me, for you, for us all.  Because, really, there’s no reason not to.

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